Posts
Hannah Morrell
Will You Jump?

Our dreams as children of being athletes, astronauts, doctors, superheroes or princesses seem to hit a giant wall somewhere in adolescence as we are told they are impossible, require too much money, require too much school or aren’t going to lead us to a successful life (whatever that is defined by someone who is older and wiser at the time). Instead of paying attention to what these dreams tell us about ourselves, we shut them down and tell ourselves to toe the line and be conformed to the formula of what our culture dictates is our future. That might mean making lots of money, having a marriage and family, being powerful in society, or any other number of definitions that spell success in our culture’s eyes.

I wonder, though, where we listen to God in all of this. The Bible is full of stories of people who were given an identity by God but didn’t believe it. They tried to fit into the identity that society was giving them, which really was just believing the fear when it told them they couldn’t make it. I know that sometimes I get stuck listening to the “wisdom” of the world and dismissing any thoughts of following some of the crazy things God might be calling me to do.

Will You Jump?
Posts
Hannah Morrell
Be Still

When the world is spinning and feels like you are in a tornado,
When the stress ramps up and starts to choke you.
When the pain of loss and grief threatens to drown you in tears.
When the overwhelm and anxiety threaten stagnate you in everything today.

Be still. Know that I am God.

When I can’t figure a way out of the mess I’ve created.
When rejection is close and the fear of more governs my relationships.
When my finances are bleak and the outlook bleaker.
When I watch my loved ones hurt and hurt each other. 

Be still. Know that I am God.

When I feel like I’m moving through mud as everything is in slow motion.
When I can’t make things stop as they spiral and whir by my eyes.
When all of the plans I had made fall apart and wither away.
When I can’t see a future or a hope, and feel that the painful present is all there is. 

Be still. Know that I am God.

Be Still
Posts
Hannah Morrell
God's Great Reversals

What do we do with pain? I really believe we only have two options, although the way these present can look different. The first option is to allow it to control us, whether by trying to deny or ignore it, or by focusing on it entirely and allowing it to tell us who we are. The second option is to allow God to bring life from death, creating the Great Reversal in our lives.

When we decide that we are no more than our pain, it controls us. It tells us we are worthless, rejected and hopeless. We believe it, and receive messages from whoever caused this pain in our lives. We basically allow these people who have done damage to completely define us, and thus continue to have power over us. We may be in complete denial of the way the pain has affected us, but it still controls us. It’s sort of like a dry drunk—instead of continuing to focus on alcohol by drinking it, the focus is on alcohol but abstaining from it instead. The obsession is still there, and the addiction still controls.

If we are trying to explain away our pain or pretend it’s not there, we live as a distortion of ourselves. We want to believe that we are free, but having never faced the pain and pushed through it, we continue to be controlled in a different way. I can tell you how many people I talk to who still believe messages that were given to them by rejecting or abusive people 30, 40 or 50 years ago. If we never recognize who is speaking these lies, we assume they might be true because they are in our heads and run freely in our thoughts.

God's Great Reversals
Posts
Hannah Morrell
A Posture of Receiving

Many times in circles of Christ-followers, we obsess on what we are doing “for” God and how much we are producing, trying desperately to make Him happy with us. I find this stems from an incorrect concept of God, one who is angry and sets unrealistic standards for us, waiting to punish us when we don’t measure up. This is not the God I see in Scripture, as He pursues people constantly to lead them to repentance. Repentance is a change of mind, a turning that leads behavior. God is always walking with you, but repentance means you recognize it and ask Him for His perspective. Sin is separation from God. As Mike Wells used to say, “You fall out with God before you ever fall into sin.” But we obsess on sin as the problem, rather than a break in relationship with Jesus being the problem.

If we are constantly trying to measure up to whatever standards and expectations we believe are important, we basically become just like the religious leaders of Jesus’ day, whom He warned against often. They ended up demonstrating their hatred for God when they crucified Him. They would not be led to a change of mind, but were determined to follow the rules they had set for themselves and to judge everyone around them who was not measuring up in their view. It became a competition among the religious leaders to see who could be more religious. Interesting, isn’t it, when we sometimes do the same thing in the body of Christ?

Over and over again, Jesus told people that He had come as the Savior because we all needed one. That means that we couldn’t save ourselves. We couldn’t come to relationship with the Trinity because we kept trying to achieve and appease instead of receive. We often continue to make it about behavior rather than heart.

A Posture of Receiving
Posts
Hannah Morrell
Bringing Fear to the Light

I have been reading a book recently that has made me think deeply about my greatest fears. (It’s Living Fearless by Jamie Winship in case you want to read it. I highly recommend!) Most of the time in the past, I try to push fear away, just telling myself to deny it and move on anyway. I think it’s sort of like when you are a child and you hide under the covers from the monsters in your closet—we believe that will keep us safe from the things we fear. Denial becomes the bed covers, and we keep hiding under it hoping that the fear will go away.

Instead of this, though, Jamie recommends confessing fear to Jesus and letting Him free us from it. I have to be honest, when I first read this, I still really struggled with the idea. I don’t want to talk about my fears. But then I also realized that God already knows my fears, so it’s no surprise or disappointment to Him. I haven’t achieved anything in terms of being free of fear by ignoring or denying them. Instead, I spend a lot of time trying to stomp them down again, hoping they will go away if I just muscle them into submission.

So, I was walking and thinking about this, and I finally took the mental barrier down to really bring my fears out and discuss them with Jesus. And in the spirit of vulnerability opening up vulnerability in others, I’m sharing them with you too.

Bringing Fear to the Light

depression

Be Still

Be Still

When the world is spinning and feels like you are in a tornado,
When the stress ramps up and starts to choke you.
When the pain of loss and grief threatens to drown you in tears.
When the overwhelm and anxiety threaten stagnate you in everything today.

Be still. Know that I am God.

When I can’t figure a way out of the mess I’ve created.
When rejection is close and the fear of more governs my relationships.
When my finances are bleak and the outlook bleaker.
When I watch my loved ones hurt and hurt each other. 

Be still. Know that I am God.

When I feel like I’m moving through mud as everything is in slow motion.
When I can’t make things stop as they spiral and whir by my eyes.
When all of the plans I had made fall apart and wither away.
When I can’t see a future or a hope, and feel that the painful present is all there is. 

Be still. Know that I am God.

Depression and Despair

Depression and Despair

What do you do when the aching fingers of sadness seem to take hold of your heart and your head and won’t let it go? When the thought of getting out of bed and facing the day causes you to roll over and forget the whole thing? When the obsession with all the stupid things you’ve said, the flaws in your appearance or demeanor, or the ways you’ve been let down begins to drown you in self-pity and despair?

Cotton Candy & Broken Dreams

Cotton Candy & Broken Dreams

What do you do when your dreams lay broken and burning all around you? How do you carry on when it seems like all the ways your life was “supposed to be” have turned up empty? How do you find your way through the darkness of despair when nothing you look at proves that you are worth something?

Recognizing the Flowers and Giving Thanks

Recognizing the Flowers and Giving Thanks

We did a birthday party for my son this last weekend. A bunch of his friends came over and did a Nerf gun war in the backyard in childhood bliss. I was talking with my son later that night and he totally shocked me by leaning over for a hug and saying, “Thanks for the fun party, Mom.” More often than not, my kids complain about what they don’t have rather than being thankful for what they do. And (who am I kidding here?) so do I.

Floating not Drowning

Floating not Drowning

Sometimes it feels like drowning.Like the abyss is swallowing you up.Sometimes your feet find no foundationAnd your mind wanders in frantic search.The waves threaten to cover youLeaving no trace of life behindThe fear seems to choke youAs you wait for a rescue that seems far away.

Figuring It Out and Living Bored

Figuring It Out and Living Bored

I can’t tell you how many people I talk to who just want to “figure it out” and they think this will bring resolution. Whether it’s analyzing their relationship with parents, understanding why they might have made the choices they did, or recognizing the issues an ex had which made the relationship impossible, it’s all an attempt to bring an explanation and thus hopefully, peace.

Walking with the broken to find hope in Jesus