I was listening to a man several years ago who had just lost his infant daughter in the two weeks after she was born. She had fought for life, barely hanging on for those weeks, and then never left the hospital in her physical body. I attended the funeral with the tiny casket at the front, and, with tears pouring down my face,  watched her brothers, mother and father celebrate the brief life of their little girl. Months later, the man was talking to a ministry board and was asked how he was surviving. His answer has stuck with me to this day.

The grieving father said that when he was operating from his soul—his mind, will and emotion—he felt like he was cracking apart. He couldn’t make sense of anything that had happened (least of all why God had allowed it). He couldn’t fix it or force something to happen to change the outcome. And he felt raw, blinding grief that sucked joy away replacing it with anger and deep sadness. He said that in his soul, he couldn’t find what he needed.

Instead, he had to move into his spirit, which was filled with the Holy Spirit. His spirit could acknowledge reality above the physical one, and find comfort in what God spoke to him there. The earthly reality didn’t change, and his grief wasn’t gone. But he was able to move into a deeper part of him that brought peace.