Today has been a hard day. Some days just feel darker, harder to hold on to hope. So much pain and fear threaten to choke me, drowning out the joy and peace. I can’t stop the tears as they pour from my eyes, uncontrollable cracks everywhere as my heart breaks again. Why are we so messy? Where is the hope? Where is the relief?
My body feels as though it might split in half. Fear closes a tight fist around my heart and I can’t breathe. It feels like someone turned out the light in the world, and I’m stumbling in the dark trying not to fall off a cliff.
And then. A little glimmer. I watch my daughter as she turns her face toward the rainstorm and keep playing rather than run for cover. Her smile grows and she is so brave and strong. Her freedom is contagious. She finds joy after a day full of pain and heartache. Light is not gone! She runs soaking wet through the pouring rain to play with her friends.
Light drives out darkness. Corrie ten Boom said (after surviving prison camp during World War 2) “There is no pit so deep that God’s love isn’t deeper still.” On days like this, I need to come back to simple truths that I repeat even if I don’t believe them right away. Jesus is Light, and no darkness can stick around when you bring Him to the situation. We have hope, and can find joy even on the hardest days. I need to ask God for His perspective, not because He critiques me for having emotion or crying, but rather because He comforts and also calls us to a hope and a future. We are not lost. We are not hopeless. We can believe and trust Him because He provides the faith to do so. We simply ask.
But that’s not all! Even in times of trouble we have a joyful confidence, knowing that our pressures will develop in us patient endurance. And patient endurance will refine our character, and proven character leads us back to hope. And this hope is not a disappointing fantasy, because we can now experience the endless love of God cascading into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who lives in us! Romans 5:3-5