A few days ago, I got caught in the funk of the “always” and “never” statements in my life. I started thinking that I would always be in this place, and circumstances will never be change. It is pretty discouraging when you start thinking this way, and often we don’t realize we are trying to play God in our own lives. I can ride the downhill spiral with the best of them—thinking that God has abandoned me, that the circumstances in my life prove that God doesn’t love me, and that I am bound for a lifetime of this exact problem. In these moments, the runaway train of emotion can take me to very dark places, places where in playing God I have essentially exchanged His character for that of a terrible ogre who means only for my harm for his own sick enjoyment.
But that’s not God.
I love the Psalms and the raw pain behind so many of David’s and the other writers’ words. I appreciate that they get stuck in the “always” and “never” statements also. David exclaims about his frustration with God’s seeming lack of presence, his agony with being pursued to be killed by evil men, and his sorrow in the feeling of despair and discouragement. He looks around at his circumstances and asks “Are you ever going to do something, God?”
And we forget the truth so easily. We allow the circumstances surrounding us and the lies running through our heads to define God for us, and to pronounce a sentence of enduring misery for our lives.
The other thing I love about the Psalms is how the writers always come back to the truth. They definitely lay out the problems in detail, but they also choose to remember who their God is. They see His lovingkindness, His faithfulness, His enduring love, His mercy, His grace, and His compassion.
These are the truths I must come back to when I try to play God in my own life and determine the future based on the present. God works in seasons very often, and this season is not forever. I will move forward in Him, knowing His character is certain and He does not lie. He has promised to be enough for the impossible, so let’s take Him at His word, living in expectation of His power and might as it plays out in our lives.
Our circumstances have not gotten the best of God. I don’t know the future. I can choose to trust the One who does, and who cares for me and my relationship with Him through each detail of my day. I can choose not to worry about the future, avoiding playing God again because I’m a terrible god. I can choose to keep my focus on Him, not allowing the waves to overpower my mind. And in making these choices, I recognize Him to be God and love me in the way He knows best.
I waited and waited and waited some more, patiently, knowing God would come through for me. Then, at last, he bent down and listened to my cry. He stooped down to lift me out of danger from the desolate pit I was in, out of the muddy mess I had fallen into. Now he’s lifted me up into a firm, secure place and steadied me while I walk along his ascending path. Psalm 40:1-2